Tuesday, 22 June 2010

Are relationships OVER-rated?

I always want to be in a relationship. Cliche, I know. But when I actually think about it, do I? Or do I like the idea of a relationship? Sure it's great to have a companion. But sometimes people lose sight of themselves in others. In my experience, the relationships I were in were relationshits. Meaning they were shit. They were built on falsity and naivety. And, once again, shit. Bullshit. Things always got too serious too fast. I am to blame just as much as they are. I just don't understand why we get so caught up in relationships especially when we are so young. A real relationship requires work, and most of us seem not mature enough for that type of work despite what we believe. You have to really work on yourself before you can enter a relationship, right? I don't know. I don't have any answers unfortunately. LIke most things in life I feel timing is significant. You both must be in the right place spiritually, mentally, physically... (location-wise, what have you). I just know that I'm looking for something real.

To quote Carrie Bradshaw,

"I'm looking for love. Real love. Ridiculous, inconvenient, consuming, can't-live-without-each-other love."

tales of the unemployed

being home can suck at times. i'm bored a lot. being unemployed is not as exciting as it sounds. i want to be doing something productive. i'm applyin for jobs. I want to work for a treatment center for substance abuse and addictions.

people can be confusing. and when i say people i have one person in mind. that's usually how it goes.

i try to put effort into people im interested in and often feel like it's unreturned. or unequal. hearing from people out of the blue can be strange and when you respond to no avail is stranger.

blah i just wish things were as simple as they seem to be in my head

Thursday, 17 June 2010

LIke I've mentioned before, It does not take much to make me happy. Simple things can make me ream with joy. Does ream make sense there? Possibly not. Possibly yes. I, sometimes use words just because I like them or the way they sound. Even if they are out of context. Maybe, I'm revolutionary. Or maybe I'm a fool.

Anywho, I check my blog at least once a day. Usually. I really enjoy writing. I write something everyday. A quote I think up. A poem. Random thoughts or words. I also read something everyday. I am currently reading Sarah Silverman's, Bedwetter and I have never laughed so hard at a book in my life. I've heard people say they do not like her and it bothers me because saying you don't like someone whom you most likely do not know is pretty harsh. On the other hand, maybe saying you do like someone you do not know is naive.

But, I like her. Her humor can be shocking but it's supposed to be. I've always liked people who were strange. I'm pretty strange myself. Her humor is smart though. She is usually trying to get people to see how silly racism and ignorance are by acting as if she was that way. That is my take on it at least. She said she will not get married until gay people can get married. She said something along the lines of why would you want to join a club that hates others, it's like joining a country club that doesn't like Jewish people. Sarah is Jewish and takes joy in poking fun of her self.

The point of this blog was to share my happiness with coming onto my blog and seeing new followers. But, I have digressed and discussed Sarah Silverman. Nevertheless, please keep reading and thank you.

I would love suggestions, questions, or comments for further blogs.

Thanks again friends. :-)


Tuesday, 15 June 2010

Impulsive: "Motivated by or resulting from impulse: such impulsive acts as hugging strangers; impulsive generosity." Freedictionary.com

I can be impulsive at times.

Tuesday, 1 June 2010

not schizophrenic just complex

wild, rebellious, quiet, homebody, shy, outgoing, thoughtful, closed off, hopeful romantic

these are some adjectives i'd use to describe myself. i was inspired by someone's blog entry about how he believes everyone has two sides to their personality

i have to agree with this. it has been confusing and a struggle for me at times because having extreme opposite personality traits can make me feel lost or incomplete. but, i just have to accept myself as I am. there is nothing wrong with who i am. i am just a complex individual, like everyone else. i may be super outgoing one day and tight lipped the next. i may be feeling very adventurous one day and not want to leave my house the next. i might want to go clubbing one night and stay in and watch a movie the next night. i might feel very happy one minute but become saddened by a thought or action that has occurred the next.

what's funny is some people have only seen certain sides of me, mainly because i only allow them to see certain sides of me. maybe because i do not trust them or feel that they deserve to see certain sides of me. the best part is these people choose to make judgements based on what they've seen. these people might even claim to be my friends, but this feeling is not mutual. i have a small number of people i consider to be my real friends.

so moral of this story is, i am beginning to understand that there are different parts of myself and i am learning to be okay with that.